do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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