But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he shaved USA in his pubs
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
