Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
