just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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