at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
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I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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