Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
