I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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