I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
zippers are such a cool invention
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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