i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
