She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
foreskin is a definite game changer
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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