I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
