Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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