my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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