she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think your dad took our porno
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
