We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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