I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize