just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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