I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
