I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
