Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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