so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
