pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize
