In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
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Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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