dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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