i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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