So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
