There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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