I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize