did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
