i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
