My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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