If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
