maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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