i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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