Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize