I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize