I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
