The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
