see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
