THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Sober January is a disaster.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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