omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
