i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Terrible idea I love it
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
