She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
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