Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
