Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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