I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize