we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
