I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
