Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
