So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
