Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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