So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
