I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
