i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
