I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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