My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
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WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
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I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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