I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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