There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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