The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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